It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
