Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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