he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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