playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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