we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
