I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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