Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
