Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
