I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
