i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
