All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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