Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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