You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
When are your genitals available?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
