New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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