i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
