she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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