i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
