Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
