I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
