i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
