I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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