i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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