Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's blow job season.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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