adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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