You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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