what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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