she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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