I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
