I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
love makes seman taste better
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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