I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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