when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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