the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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