my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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