Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
