No awkward lesbian experiences without me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
