I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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