remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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