whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
