I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
