I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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