yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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