i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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