what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
