Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
