i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
