conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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