i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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