apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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