Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I will be naked everywhere
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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