I feel like abortions should bother me more
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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