Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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