you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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