What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
