The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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