What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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