I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
