I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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