does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize