I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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