your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
