We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
